Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Ive been in the position where I chose to keep my baby when the father wanted to abort. Now I also believe that the LW is exposing herself to STDs not this guy, because she knows that he had unprotected sex with another women, and she still chooses to be with him either way. The fact that a child is adopted does not somehow guarantee the theyll be cared for. If you loved him, you wouldn't toss the relationship. I dont think the LW can handle a relationship where another woman has her mans child. Yep. Any woman who, in a divorce, grants custody of the children to the father is an immature asshole, and any woman who spends her life in her career an allows the father to raise the children is an immature asshole, because, in each of those cases, the woman is just as guilty of abdicating the role of parent as the guy here would be, and in many of them, she also doesnt even provide financial support. It was definitely his decision too. . If youre going to call anyone a slut, Chuck (which you shouldnt, its really very rude) why not the dude who slept with someone he cant stand and got her pregnant? And if you arent ready for a child, then use a goddamn condom. April 9, 2012, 3:49 pm. I think that it does, as most have pointed out, take two people to get pregnant. Hell, given the entitlement and lack of boundaries displayed in your letter, itll probably be your life no matter what. I think that the thing to keep in mind is that the angry ranters are really just a very vocal minority. Is that fair, well no, but nine months of growing a baby inside you, followed with birth, breast feeding, ect isnt really an equitable way to split reproduction either. And since placement errs to the mother, so does support for the exact reason you pointed out above, Addie: support is a gender-blind concept. Exactly where is there a grown-up here? If the person who carried the child to term (woman) wants to turn the kid over to adoptive parents to care for it, then the responsibilitys on them. And yes, women do use the laws to trap men into financing their lifestyle of choice (as a single mother). Hi guyssssss,I wanted to share a storytime video with you guys since it has a lot to do with the reason I moved to LA and a lot to do with who I am today!Sid. Seriously, doesnt anyone get off on oral anymore? And how do you know you wouldnt do the same thing she is? You seem too whiny for most womens taste. I think I said that about my boyfriend was I was about 15. April 10, 2012, 11:43 am. Just something to think about. I have no problem with single people with children who put their kids above the girlfriend/boyfriend and at the beginning of the adjustment period, over the new spouse. Everyone is pretty much in agreement there. Though some women seem to believe that is the case. Might he have continued sleeping with her? LOL What? Ok.you were on a breakhe met some women club and after 2 minutes decided to have sex with her (which people do Im not against a 1 night stand).but he doesnt throw a condom on because shes on the pill (so hes not protected from STDs and he has no verification shes actually using the pill responsibly)..and if that level of irresponsibility isnt enough, he ahem finishes the job inside of her! The decision to have sex is NOT a decision to have a child. Loved this guy, things were not working out, cos he was fucking around with other girls. He has made it clear that he wants a pregnancy to be terminated. Personally, I wouldnt. But if YOU really are so fucked up and so pathetic that you want to build a life with a man who for intents are purposes wants to simply abandon his own child have at it. And oxygen. I think the hes a scum is more about not wanting anything to do with a child that he helped create and trying to brow beat this woman into having an abortion. That happens. When you break up, you get the rare opportunity to see your ex's true nature at the worst of times. The guy started dating someone else. Except I acknowledged that was guesswork on my part. Therefore, move on. My issue is even, at the very least, if you dont want to wear a condom.then pull out!!! The only ones who dont are the ones who dont ask for it and/or whom the court deems is unable or unfit to. Im usually just a lurker here on DW, but the strong debate over this letter compelled me to comment. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. Seriously. I was devastated. No worries. I hope you make sure he gets tested for STIs before you sleep with him again. LMAO. Why you waste any time belly aching about how unfair it is, is beyond me. doesnt she have friends to tell her just say no to neon macrome?), we judge who our friends date and marry, we judge everything, usually based on what we would do. 1. April 10, 2012, 7:21 pm. April 9, 2012, 9:37 am. ha, Ive done too many drugs too. SpaceySteph "My mom got pregnant from a one-night-stand at 16. WTF!!! I brought it up, that if *I* was the girlfriend, I would be bothered by this, in addition to his behavior post-conception. And the man? But if Im going to have casual sex without proper protection, well then Id better damn well be prepared for the potential consequences. Its probably best hes not in the kids life anyway. am . April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. And not even the most important part. I think shes nothing but a little scroat. No, a responsible father who is involved in the childs life will get joint custody. This whole thing could have been prevented that way. lets_be_honest Whoever is saying otherwise is simply wrong. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt.! I think you handled your situation in the best way possible. Ill never understand the chicks who want to blame/curse/fight the other woman like the dude has no part in the whole mess. You deserve each other! The only thing I can say that no one else has so far is, why would she want to trap this man?! sorry, brain). If you cant live with those outcomes, dont have sex with her. Hey, say what you want about the letter but dont diss my Twilight!!! Im not disagreeing with your assessment at all, however, I have to question you on thisdo you really believe that if it were possible to two men or two women to get pregnant that they never would and things like this would never happen just because they were heterosexual? LW, your anger is misdirected. But she can also at any time change her mind and he has no recourse. She barely knows her new boyfriend, yet she's already pregnant with the guy's baby and is forced to plan a future with him. Welcome to adulthood. His response to my comment was all dont tell me what to do with my body. And Im not sure what his being 40 years old has to do with her getting an abortion. reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): A It is amazing to me to see the vitriol that men are carrying on with talking about paying money towards the health and well being of a child that they helped create. But in some ways, youre making my point, Francine. I would also ask him to get an STD test because he had unprotected sex. If there is no child at conception If he doesnt do this, and the woman gets pregnant anyways, he needs to show maturity and be responsible for his decisions. I get from the tone of your letter that you are bitter. hes signing up for sex, not fatherhood. I didnt see that it made sense for him to send a check for MY child when he never had even met her. Im only speaking on speculation, of course, since I was not a part of the situation and only heard about from him. Continuing along the lines of what John Rohan said above (maybe way above, because Im at work and my reply will take some time to type surreptitiously): The LW and the guy broke up. Now, I want to believe him, but in my rightful mind I know I will be so dumb to buy all that he is say. Im not implying anything other than exactly what I wrote. I must be in the minority because oral sex is a regular part of sex btw my husband and I and Id definitely miss it if it wasnt. Theres no statement suggesting that he tried to browbeat the woman into getting an abortion. So, to be clear, every woman who has had an abortion is, in your mind, an immature asshole. Nothing about that makes him the definition of immature or of an asshole. Ill never leave you. She says the girl says she got pregnant while on birth control, puh leaaaaaaaaaase. I dont owe them a relationship just because we have the same DNA. April 9, 2012, 5:48 pm. lets_be_honest The scapegoats arent really the point- women, minorities, the government, poor people, rich people- it doesnt really matter. It;s an even bigger dickish move, dare I say cuntish move to fucking LIE about being on the pill to get knocked up Or maybe shes just a fucking idiot and cant figure out how to follow the directions on a prescription bottle. And they seem to have a lot of time on their hands. Ill bet if LW gets pregnant, this guy is gone just about instantly. You, Chuck, seem to think that this means that all women do that. BUT. exactly hes allowed to not want to be a father, but be smarter about birth control. You seem upset at biology that women are the ones that carry the children and and therefore has the ability to decide or not to continue on with a pregnancy whereas a guy doesnt have that same right. I have to take the stance that it is no ones responsibility but their own to make sure they dont get STDs. Not only was she on the pill, but he wore a condom! April 9, 2012, 10:03 pm, God, are you REALLY this dense? We dont even know that this other woman told the bf that she is pregnant. Pregnancy by deception? Yes, it would be nice if he were eager to become a parent. Its a sad situation when an unplanned pregnancy happens between two individuals that arent committed to each other, let alone two individuals who actively dislike each other. OK, this is going to be longer than it should, but I have reactions to several things. I highly doubt that he wouldve slept with her if he knew how incompatible they are prior to bedtime. Thats not the point here. If not, then why cant a man sever all legal and fiscal responsibility prior to the childs birth (as it would be a parallel situation)? Honestly, why would you want to put yourself in a permanent relationship who a) has encouraged his baby mommy to abort the child for the sake of convenience and 2) who has sex with people he cannot stand? WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR BOYFRIENDS PROBLEM. But I just don't know anymore. He wasnt in a relationship with the LW at that time, and had no expectation that they would get back together. Glad to see youve really listened to fellow commentators, reflection on their contributions carefully and made a meaningful contribution to the DW community. By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. Second, after all this talk of how disgusting he was for supposedly not using a condom, not knowing her all that long, etc., why no talk about this woman doing the exact same thing (number it takes to tango = 2) and having to deal with the consequences?

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